My life feels fulfilling. Everything is fine.
You aren't missed. I am happy.
I look at everyone. I look at me.
I see nothing. I see something.
No longer need to hear your voice, to hear a hi,
to get a call from you to make me immensely happy.
Hearing false promises of a future together,
was better to me than the silence.
I used to rather live with the lies, in that fantasy,
than come back to reality.
Was it just a fantasy?
If it was I begged you to come take me back, take me back.
Reality caught me by surprise.
You hurt me. You're not hurting me anymore.
Would I take you back? In a blink of an eye no more.
Why? Because the heartache you gave me was
infinitely greater than the happiness I felt with you.
One day with you. One hour with you.
It all brings the pain again.
The pain of those weeks without you.
Don't ever come back. You.
If you do. I've moved on.
I have. Nothing's forever.
You know what?
I didn't sit here waiting for you.
If I had, I might've waited forever.
I just lived life. Day by Day. One by One.
Cause you wanted it to end you kept it up.
Ignored me. Pretended I didn't exist.
Forgot the memories. Erased me.
One day it hit me. That you're gone.
No more smile.
No more cussing.
No more goofy laugh.
No more jealousy.
No more love.
No more inside jokes.
No more "goodnight and all that good stuff"
No more worrying.
No more calls.
No more kisses.
No more hazel eyes looking at me.
No more walks while holding hands.
No more watching you skate.
No more "punk".
No more hugs.
When there was no more sitting on your skateboard.
No more I love you.
No more anything. More nothing.
I felt it. I can't anymore.
It feels indifferent. I feel incredible.
It's not with me. It left me.
I smile and it's not an act.
I wanted it to be over. I had no reason.
Everything has a reason. Future?
It excites me. I have set goals.
All amazing. All without you.
I was going to try to get something from deep within my soul but the truth is ... all I feel now is indifference. So I went back to my journals to try to recover some of that pain I felt back then and I was going to write something along the lines of "thanks to you I am who I am" and "now I found the one who really deserves me" and "although I don't wish you happiness I also don't wish you pain". See just right there...the indifference is obvious. Anyway. I found two heartfelt poems I wrote in the midst of breakup depression. One of them spoke to me more because I realized if I tweaked it, I could make it more of a NOW thing...so I changed the sorrow to what pertains to my feelings now and that's how we got that poem up there...written by yours truly. I'll post the original depressing one some other time when I go in depth about exes...maybe lol.
Well that's all, thanks for your time! If yall have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!
xoxo,
wife-nextdoor <3
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