Lose an argument, win a relationship...

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

I hope everyone had enough time for the picture gift to your man...did he love it or did he love it?! My husband has his on his nightstand since he doesn't have an office yet lol. Today is another challenge to work on accordingly...

Day Twenty Five

 

Pick your battles. This is great relationship advice I have heard/read for a while. The first time I heard it, it was from a friend who had been in a LTR for about 4yrs. I was younger and dumbfounded to say the least. Especially because when we are younger we always want things our way and when they don't happen it's easy to get angry and argue with your man about it.

 

The hardest part of this challenge and relationships too, is to learn how to compromise. Picking your battles means choosing what’s worth getting angry over and what's not. A lot of the times we argue over things that they do that annoy/bother us...and a lot of the times most of those things are not big things to waste negative energy over. Yes you can talk about things, but not if you are going to blow it out of proportion and fight...sometimes it doesn't even help and it just makes your partner mad at you too. I have been guilty of that. This sucks happiness from our life and relationship. Remember that our job is not to control our men, but we can control how we react to situations. In choosing what angers and frustrates us, we are choosing how much joy we keep in our marriage/relationship. Focus instead on learning when anger is the appropriate response and when you need to let it go. The battle is not with your partner, it's about you.

 

 

Well although I may have rambled on, I hope you got the main point of the challenge and you start to change your outlook on those daily annoyances, especially the ones caused by your man that aren't as big as we think at the time...like the fact that he always leaves his clothes on the floor or he decided to go out instead of finishing a house project. Maybe he needed to de-stress with his friends, but remember he'll be back home to finish that project at another down time...especially if you remind him nicely ;)  Well yall know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Hold me in a picture

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

Yesterday's challenge is one we can work on daily. Now today's challenge is fairly easy so it can be done pretty fast...which I like hehe

Day Twenty Four

 

Print a "sexy"/cute pic of you and frame it. Give it to your man with Hershey kisses.This is a sweet detail added to the gift of the picture of you. Tell him it's for his office, or maybe his bedside? Depends where he works and all lol

I like this idea because it's a small inexpensive gift that he will be able to look at and think of you. He will be reminded of what a beautiful woman he has and hopefully appreciate you more. You might wonder how a simple picture might do this, but seriously seeing a nice picture of you daily while at work or before bed will get him thinking of you at least for a few minutes more and hopefully in a positive way since you are the one choosing the picture ;)

 

this is the one I got J, semi sexy pose, then us two which was extra <3

 

 So go ahead...look through your pictures and choose one to print either at home or at walmart/walgreens/cvs online and pick it up! No need to go all out on picture frame since guys don't care much for those details anyway lol. Well you ladies know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Keep in mind to always...

31 Days of Love Challenge

Okay you guys! I can't hide my excitement but it's a month until my birthday! Obviously under 30 if I am still excited right? lol Well back to challenge...how did your talk go? Did you realize a bad habit you didn't know bothered your partner? Was it a big deal or was it something silly? In our case, J hates when/if we argue that I shut down instead of talking about it. Personally I do it because I'd rather stay quiet than say things I'll regret later but now that I realize he'd rather me talk about it immediately, I will have to think about what I'll say before so I avoid any mean comments. On to today...

Day TwentyThree

 

Protect his reputation. Don't speak bad about your man to friends/family. Always make him look good and your love will grow stronger. (This does not include diaries/blogs/or twitter where you may be anonymous or where you don't have people you know)

Yes he will make you angry, yes he will act in ways that will frustrate you, but in the end if you are with him in the long run, you will get through those things. Most of our arguments are probably over frivolous things anyway...think about it! I do know how annoying it may be to ask him to take the trash out every Monday when he should already know but men just need direction most of the time lol. You as his wife/partner, need to protect his reputation by always speaking well of him. If you get mad at him and go to your mom or friends every time you guys disagree, of course your loved ones will be on your side and then they will resent your man for making you feel that way. If they only see or hear about him when you guys argue they will think that's all there is to him. Don't forget to emphasize when he goes beyond and above even in small things. Always talk about the good and what a great husband he is. You can vent on a diary or on twitter if you don't have people you know, or if you don't like these options, of course you can vent to your friends, but remind them that it is just an argument which happen in marriage/relationships, and you still love him and not to be mad at him because he IS a great companion.

This is a simple task we may forget in the heat of the moment, but it is great to the relationship and to your man's esteem. Imagine when a friend tell them how you always speak amazing things of him...he will feel proud to be your partner and empowered. Well, yall know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Getting real

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

I hope everyone had a fantastic family Sunday, unfortunately we don't live in the same state as family so we just had our own little family day. The weekend just went by a little too fast considering it was 3 day for us ;)

Day Twenty One

 

Ask your man what is the one thing he likes least about you or the way you act so you can work on it. Maybe do it while drinking coffee or during some down time. Beware only to do today's challenge if you are willing to listen to what he has to say and not get offended. This is not to get mad at your guy, this is to better your relationship by working on something that displeases your love.

Maybe it's the fact that you don't talk to him when you get angry? Maybe it's when you say whatever when you are in the middle of an argument. Or maybe it's something silly like the fact that you always change the tv to TLC not even realizing that he is watching the tv lol. Or he really hates those faux leather pants you wear ahahah. Whatever his biggest dislike may be, your goal is to tell him why you do it/like it and then listen to his reasoning on why he does not. You guys will see each other's perspectives and then decide accordingly. In the case of your attitude on arguments, I know you can change to be more positive next time...and in the case of him disliking your pants lol...he can get over it o you might wear it less often? Personally I know J doesn't like heels with straps and I have a few pairs. He's never told me NOT to wear them, but either way I try to only wear them when I'm going out with mom or friends and aren't w.J all day. It's my choice...I still rock them and aren't deprived and he doesn't even notice! (: Well maybe and hopefully after you ask him today's question, your beau may even ask you what you dislike about him...but if he does, tell him not to get offended just as you didn't.

 

I wish you all good luck and strength in today's endeavor. It could go from fun and frivolous to serious and becoming a heart to heart. Either way, it should make your relationship better if you take things positively, keep an open mind, and not get offended. Well, ya know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Sunday Family Funday...

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

Did everyone have a fantastic Saturday? We didn't get to do everything we were going to since we got lazy once we came home to feed our dogs lol but it was still a fun night (: Today is a similar challenge but it's also important to spend time with family as with friends because...

 

 Day Twenty One

 

Share your day with pets/children/family. Sunday is a perfect day because some people go to church, but most people relax with family and catch up with them about their lives.

 An important part of relationships is getting to know each other's family and spending time with them. If both your families like each other, invite them over at your house for a get together, play card games, just enjoy it. If you'd rather spend time with families separately, choose one today, and the other one next Sunday. I also mentioned pets and children because some people have both. Today is a great day to take both to parks lol. Or play with them at home. For us, since we have NO family here, we will give our families a call and go out with our dogs for an extra long walk and play with them.

Well relish your day with family and remember to appreciate every moment you are experiencing. One day we shall look back and you want to see that you cared about your relationships with your man as well as with all the other people you love. Well, ya know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Social Saturday

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

I hope everyone had an amazing Friday night! Mine ended the best way ever...tired in bed sleeping like a baby ;)  Was your man surprised with the relaxing activity you provided? I bet he was, there is not way your guy would not enjoy a simple but affectionate night!

Day Twenty

 

Activity with friends. Either go on a double date, or host a small get together at you home! Or, considering it's a Sat night, go out with a group of friends as a couple. Bar, club, museum, restaurant, ice skating. Just go out! Enjoy each other's company! 

 It is still early enough to do something, unless it's 10pm, you can find an activity you guys will want to take part in. If your friends are busy or you live away from friends like me, then just go out together, it's great to soak in the summer and go hiking, or to a park, or swimming. It doesn't have to be any expensive place. J and I will go to a buffet, then either mini golf or go bowling, and ending the night with a live band by the beach! Sounds like a great day for us! 

 I hope I gave you ideas on things to do with  your love so you can have a great fun weekend! I feel bad that I don't tweet much on weekends but you can see why...I usually go out with J since those are his days off! =P Well, ya know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Take a breather

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

I hope you all understood the significance of yesterday's challenge and notice how it is not the same as one of the past ones where I asked you to let him enjoy his hobby alone or with friends...in this one, you actually get to get in on the fun with him! (: Today is Friday. The end of a long week! And to celebrate and get ready for the weekend, I have today's challenge!

Day Nineteen

 

Massage/bath/intimate time. What better way to relax than by giving each other a massage, then enjoy a nice bath with lukewarm water, some fragrant bubbles, and some romantic candles? Nothing in my opinion lol...and who knows? That might lead to an even happier night! ;)

 

 

So stock up on the massage oil, bubbles, and candles! You might want to text your man and let him know you have a surprise in stock for him ;) Tell him it's time for him to relax and forget about work. Let him know you will always be there for him to unwind and let go of worries...at least for those couple of hours. If you have kids who are old enough, you might give them an activity for them to do. Or do this after they go to sleep...or put a children's movie for them!

Well hope you guys have a fantastic Friday! I really appreciate you guys joining me in this challenge! At the end I will share what I've learned! Yall know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3

Whatever you like, I like...kind of...

31 Days of Love Challenge

 

What are you guys cooking tonight? Yesterday I forgot to share how one time when I made J choose a recipe, I made it and it became his favorite meal! Now he wants it once a week =P If things don't work out that way, at least your man will see that you tried and you did it for him lol. J hasn't always completely loved everything I've cooked but it's okay because it's part of getting to know each other even more every day. Today's challenge...

Day Eighteen

 

Take interest in one of his hobbies that you don't really like. Your guy will be blown away by your change in attitude and will love that you are participating and interested too! He might even feel more attracted to you! No joke.

When I met J, his only hobbies were soccer and video games...you  know, typical guy things. One night him and his roommates had a poker night and he sucked. My man is not used to not being good at competitive things, so he started playing for free online and even reading books about it lol. He also joined this free league in the city. After he became better and better, he seemed obsessed with it to the point where poker has annoyed me throughout the years. I realized if I changed my attitude about it, it would be better for both of us. When I actually showed interest and joined in, he loved it and it turned out to be something else we could do together. We started playing in that league together and hosting poker nights at home (which was great for socializing with friends), we went to casinos together, I've watched him play and I cheer for him. So on. I like it to a point but I'm not all into it like him lol, but I'm still there for him.

this was me before J taught me lol

The point of my story is that sometimes we might get annoyed when our men take their hobbies to another level because they spend so much time with it. If you complain that he doesn't spend much time with you, then just change your attitude and YOU join him...you never know, you might actually like it haha. If you try his hobby and still don't like it, he'll notice that you put in effort and be grateful for that. You can still show him you care by continuing to support him in it and listening to his stories about it. The point is just for him to see that you care about that part of his life that seems to be important to him. 

 

Look how cute a golf date can be...him teaching you! Awww

Well with my point made...I wish you guys a nice adventure with this challenge hehe. You know where to reach me, comment below, email me at wife.nextdoor@yahoo.com or tweet me!

xoxo,

                           wife-nextdoor <3